Auntie Peggy

Fifteen years ago today, my world was rocked. Fifteen years ago today, the only grandmother figure I ever really knew passed away. I called her "Auntie" Peggy. Her parents were neighbours of my (maternal) grandparents in my ancestral home town in Scotland.

When my parents immigrated to Canada, it was Auntie Peggy and Uncle Ben they stayed with until they found a place of their own. We lived only a five minute walk from them and we were constantly in each other's homes. They were at our house for Christmas dinner every year and they seemed to see it as their duty to spoil me - as they didn't grandchildren yet and their kids were grown. In 1977, I was flowergirl in their son's wedding. When my Mom took sick in 1978 and was in hospital for weeks, it was Uncle Ben who was always there to pick me up from school every day and take me back to their place where they would have dinner for Dad and me. Uncle Ben lost his battle with cancer in 1989.

Everyone needs an Auntie Peggy in their lives. I remember once going to visit her one evening after a breakup with a beau and she said, "What's wrong wi' ya, lass? I dinna lak to see ya lak that." Sometimes I wonder what I would give to hear her say those words again. She had a great sense of humour. It was priceless to watch hockey with her. She literally nagged the Canucks on. She would say things like, "Ach, you're useless. Get off the ice." and wave her hand dismissively at the t.v. Just a few months before she died, some pianists came to visit our church. She leaned over to me and whispered, "What's wrong wi' us? Why can't we play lak that? We have ten fingers, don't we?" I had to stifle the giggles.

She went quickly and unexpectedly. She had a heart attack on April 1st and was gone by the next morning. She didn't even give us a chance to say good-bye. Perhaps that's best, as I will always remember her the way she would have wanted: vibrant, warm, funny and full of life.

The next night, a Saturday, I was at a Michael W. Smith concert with a friend. If you know him, his signature song is "Friends" a song that became an anthem to a generation of Christian young people. As he sang it, tears streamed down my face. To this day, I always associate the song with her - even though she probably never, ever heard it.

I've got it softly playing in the background as I type this post, and I can feel tears trickle down. I give you "Friends" words and music by Michael W. Smith and Deborah D. Smith.

Packing up the dreams God planted in the fertile soil of you
Can't believe the hopes He's granted

means a chapter in your life is through
But we'll keep you close as always;

it won't even seem you've gone
'cause our hearts in big and small ways

will keep the love that keeps us strong.

Chorus:
And friends are friends forever

if the Lord's the lord of them
And a friend will not say never

'cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go,

in the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

With the faith and love God's given

springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you live in is the strength that now you show
But we'll keep you close as always;

it won't even seem you've gone
'cause our hearts in big and small ways will keep the love that keeps us strong

Chorus:
(twice)
And friends are friends forever

if the Lord's the lord of them
And a friend will not say never

'cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go

in the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends

And friends are friends forever

if the Lord's the lord of them
And a friend will not say never

'cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go

in the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends
No, a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

Rest in peace, Auntie Peggy. I still miss you