Spamalot

We all get them. Spam emails. They drive us crazy, yet some of the titles amuse me. Here are some samples of headlines in actual spam emails I have received lately.

"Am I satisfied with the size of my member?"
Hm. Sorry. Can't help you with that one. Why are you asking me? *scratches head*

"Help me Get out of Debt"
Yeah. Right. I'm in enough hot water in that area myself. Like I'm going to help you.

"You must be the Real Man with Huge Dignity"
Why thank you very much. Mind you, when was the last time you met a man named Heather?

"You Feel up my Senses"
I guess that's a compliment. *shrug*

"We let you be more a man"
Thanks but no thanks. I'm quite happy the way I am - thank you very much

"It is good, when there are experts in what that"
Well, I guess it's obvious there's one thing you're not an expert in: English grammar.

"Be the Most People in Town"
Looks like you and the above spammer need to take the same grammar class.

"They do not want to buy their shops unknown them in stores?"
See above comment.

"Make yourself look really spiny"
And why exactly would I want to do that?

"What is the Church?"
Well, it comes from the Latin eccliesia which simply " a gathering of citizens" or "called out assembly". In other words, no religious context at all. The French word for church is "eglise". Bet you're sorry you asked, aren't you?

"You look stupid in this video heather new. See Yourself."
Damn. How did that video from the office Christmas party get out?